Dealing with Death During the Holidays
Death can be a very hard position of life to deal with in the first place. When a death occurs during the holiday season there can be a profound sense of loss that is well outlined by the evident hole left in the family. When it comes to handling holiday deaths you have to just look surrounded by and follow the belief system that you are most comfortable with.
The home can feel empty when a loved one is lost during the holidays. Decorations are up, gifts are wrapped, and even the pup curled up on the foam dog bed in the confront knows that the season isn’t the same. He can’t tell you what to do, but you’d take his resolution. Do you go forward with the holiday or do you stop the season now and offer all time to mourn.
Unfortunately there will always be varying opinions on how to handle this situation emotionally as well as practically. Simple gifts like baby bath toys and race cars are wrapped and ready, but the loss of the parent or grandparent can be more devastating than you know. Checking in with all is essential.
Some people indicate that the choice can be made based on who it was that passed away. Not every family agrees with this and there can often be splendid arguments that crop up. The entire family needs to be able to come together and discuss the possible solutions and try to agree on the next right step in the process. There are often young children to think of, and young children do not always equate death with sadness because they do not completely know.
You may run into resistance if you have older children at home. Many times kids who are finding their voice of right and incorrect stand on principles that are farthest. It’s their voice because they have just found it, and they may become ultra insistent that all do the right thing.
Families that do not have children to consider still have each other to consider. Often there is just no way to ensure that all will get on the same page and offer the same feelings. Instead, many of the family dynamics will lead to bantering and bickering. This can often just lead to more confusion.
While most people dance around it, there is also the question of the gifts. There are presents that the deceased may have bought and wrapped. There are also the gifts that you have bought. Do you hold onto the sweater, the latest kindle, or the newest laptop or do you try to return it? Do you give it to someone else? There is no right resolution to these hard questions. Only your sensitivity, your family, and your gut can really guide you along the way.
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